Rabbi Stiefel's Monthly Article

Rabbi Sharon Stiefel

Current January 2026

Membership

As rabbi of Mayim Rabim, I can’t say I spend a lot of time reading our bylaws. I know they are important and help our synagogue’s governance and operations. On a few occasions we have had votes to update our bylaws to better serve our needs. Bylaws are not meant to be static documents; rather they can evolve as our community changes.

Currently our bylaws allow non-Jewish partners of Jewish members the option of becoming members, because they are part of a Jewish household. That being said, I have to say I was surprised when I learned that our by-laws and membership policies do not contain any language allowing the non-Jewish partner the option of remaining a member should they divorce or their Jewish partner dies. In my mind, it would be hurtful to not allow the non-Jewish partner to remain a member of Mayim Rabim, especially after they may have spent years building friendships, volunteering, and contributing to the life of our community. Our Membership Committee and Board have discussed the possibility of modifying the bylaws and membership policy to allow such people to remain members.

There’s another group of people we have discussed to open for membership: individuals on a conversionary path, that is, those studying to convert to Judaism. Some synagogues actually require conversion students to become members. By becoming members, these individuals would be able to integrate more fully into our community and build a sense of commitment to Mayim Rabim through active participation, learning, and shared responsibility.

Finally, there are individuals, though relatively rare, who are not Jewish but might wish to become members. These individuals may feel deeply connected to Judaism and Jewish life; and while they may not plan to convert in the foreseeable future, they nonetheless might see Mayim Rabim as their spiritual home.

Currently our bylaws do not allow for any of the above-mentioned individuals to be Mayim Rabim members. At our Annual Meeting on Sunday, January 25, we will discuss a proposal from the Board to change the bylaws and membership policy to allow non-Jews in these circumstances to apply for membership in the congregation.  All membership applications would continue to be subject to acceptance by the Board.  Our bylaws require that any proposed bylaws changes be discussed at a meeting of the membership and then be put to a congregational vote.  We will not be voting at the meeting; but if there is a reasonable level of support, the bylaws change will be sent to the entire congregation for a vote.

At its core, this conversation is not only about policy but about values -- who we say belongs, how we express welcome, and how we honor the relationships people form with our community over time. We often speak of a big tent. I encourage us to make it even larger for all who call Mayim Rabim home.